6 posts tagged “academia”

It's been really busy lately - so busy, in fact, that I've completely forgotten about writing anything! Alright, so my subconcious is shouting that I actually haven't had the time to write anything down, but I'd beg to differ.

Mostly been really busy with the autumn courses; with an intended 47 credits just this fall instead of the normal ( and arduous enough) 30 credits they expect us to push out, I've been mostly just been trying to multitask and schedule my studying more effectively.

So it tears up the social calendar, but what can ya do, huh? Strangely, I haven't been feeling the least bit stressed, but I expect that to change once mid-terms hit me in the face.

But damnit, I like studying! I haven't felt this think-thirsty in years, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna let that feeling slide!

....

Then again, today was the season's first snowfall. Quite a serene change to the whole dreary hail and autumn storms that've been going on lately.

Maybe it's time for a change of pace as well.

Having taking my own sweet time recuperating from my short trip to Bremen ( OK, my Internet connection was offline for a week, go figure), it was refreshing to get back to the stuff I know best: schmoozing the High and Mighty and selling myself to the highest bidder - pretty much being an academic whore, if you will.

In the aftermath of the recession in construction last year (No, f**k you 'The Economist': Depression!) a whole lot of construction and infrastructure firms are trying to warm their ties to us, the would-be CEOs of anything with the word "build" in it, they've started throwing out meet-and-greets for us: a short presentation, food and drinks on the house, and usually some form of entertainment, usually in the Boardroom's private sauna facilities or some other - to quote McDonald's: "I'm lovin' it!"

Most people decide to go along with these out of pure interest, some for the free food and drink, a few because they like people vying for their future careers. Me? I go there vying for mine.

Let's be frank: we're not going to get better chances to mingle one-on-one with these CEOs later in life unless we're really crafty, smart or plain lucky, and wisened from last summer's less-than-optimal job market, I'd decided not to leave those meet-and-greets without at least one phone number, even if it was just the receptionist's! Networking is the word, ladies and gentlemen.

Today was my first meet-and-greet this autumn, with YIT none the less, one of the biggest contractors in Scandinavia. Long story short, asking business-related questions you already know the answers to, making some educated guesses and comments and chatting it up with the Senior VP of Baltic Affairs will quickly land you a few helpful phone numbers.

”Nothing certain, of course, but a determined applicant should be able to make good use of those people”.

Booyah bitches, we're back in business!

My, it's been a busy few weeks!

Busy introducing the newest batch of freshmen to the school ( and quite a fetching batch they are), getting through the last summer exams just before the autumn courses hit me in the face like a shovel in the hands of a hillbilly and sinking deeper into the marshlands that is university politics - ”politics” being something I swore sometimes I'd never get involved in, but this job didn't seem like politics when they whipped me into it.

But most of all I've been enjoying the fact that I've gotten to see my fellow classmen again! It's fun to see the people you messed up your own freshmen year and admitting there's a chance that it might happen all over again!

It's been especially fun realizing how I'm stuck in the grinder once again; one week down and I'm knee deep in everything you need to screw with your head and mess up your spare time, not to mention your sleep.

... Which is exactly why I'll be heading off to Germany, next week for a few days, because nothing messes with your deadlines and lab reports like a good binge, right?

The again, I may actually be getting a bit old since I've actually garnered some interest in studying; partially because all of my freshmen seem to be able to party harder than me ( and with a median age difference of 3 years, I'm glad about that), but also because we're starting to get to the honestly interesting courses – not that many people get the chance to go on an ”Explosives 101”or ”Fire 'simulation'”-course, now do they?

And let's be honest: few people enjoy wanton destruction, huge explosions and pyromania as much as I do - something everyone should write in their blog at some point, just to keep the G-men on their toes!

 

You're overworked.

 

is what she said.

The actual thought hadn't even crept up on me, but it's strange how clear things become when someone tells you the suddenly obvious in the middle of the night.

Truth be told, the probable reason why I hadn't realized it myself was because, for once in a lifetime, I was enjoying it! What with planning through the graphical design of all sorts of events, churning through deadlines just in the nick of time and now even having been asked to run for a spot in the new Aalto University Representative Council and even then trying to find the time to simply study in depth ( and trying to get a job, but that's a whole 'nother story), I hadn't realized that I'd sold out all of my spare time simply because I'd been enjoying everything so much!

So hearing something like that was like a wake-up call at 9 whereas work began at 8. So the next day I decided to do something I hadn't done in almost three months.

Visit my parents - and everything else I ever left behind.

So I made a few phonecalls to inform everybody I'd be missing a few meetings and boarded the next train back. I won't say it was a quiet trip - mostly thanks to my friend who had to go get his tux from back home - but it was a little less verbal than usual. Strange thoughts roll through your mind when the sun's gone down. With all the work I'd piled up, I was slightly worrying I wouldn't have time to go see my grand parents at all.

Maybe it was because I was tired, maybe because my empty stomach was literally howling, but as I got off the train, went up on the causeway and gazed at that little city I'd completely left behind me half a year ago, I suddenly felt a lump in my throat - and for a strange moment, every overwhelming memory I'd had flushed over me, and I had to sit down in the snow.

The walk home wasn't anything I'd even dare call nostalgic; more than anything, it somehow reminded me of the return of the prodigal son, even if the actual story'd be lost on my case. I simply felt an urge to flee from everything for a few days. I didn't even have the heart to use my own key; instead I rang the doorbell.

Being back at the Bastille does have its strengths: if I want, I can completely shut myself out from everything and just work.

And I did - that is, until I got a message.

It took me a whole fifteen minutes to get my heartbeat down to a reasonable level... and another ten for the trembling to stop.

Sometimes, it just seems, things have a tendency to work out.

And I did visit my grandfather. Wish he could've seen me then, wouldn't have believed what his grandson had turned into.

So it's finally over...

... technically...

... because I finally got an email from the high tech company of awesome things that they've fixed my baby, she's stable, and they've wrapped her in bubble-wrap and stuffed her into a teeny widdle box and is going to send her back to me in a few days. I can't believe how wonderful it feels to finally be getting my laptop back again!

Not that living without it was hard, really, but it required a bit of Macgyverism and cold, hard, cruel logic to keep yourself up-to-date without a functioning 'net at home ( or TV/music library/DVD-player/workspace/multimediaGod).

... But oh well, at least I got plenty of other things keeping me constantly on the go ( and, OK, I know it's cliche, but with friends like these, who needs enemies?), so it hasn't exactly been a bore. Hell, I even got some extracurricular reading ( and Jenni, with all due respect,your husband is a sick and vile person for making me read Appollinaire's... thing.)

And for those very reasons it's wonderful to get my laptop back, because let's face it, being in a university that posts everything from wanted ads to lecture notes ( and where it's completely normal to download your books as .pdf-warez, mind you), not having a workspace at home has... well...

(Mom, you might want to jump over the next  paragraph.)

... f**ked my courses so up Escobar it'd take a 300-man mining team to dig them back out - and every plastic surgeon in Hollywood to make them once again be able to stand the light of day.

( OK mom, you can continue reading now.)

Further hindering the Glorious Highway of Success that is my academic career, this weekend was a dedicated 'extracurricular weekend aimed at the Future Management of Human Resources, Disposable Assets and The Burning of Bridges, future Exec. -level'.

In short, most of the attendees still can't walk straight.

To be honest, I wouldn't have missed it for the world. Hanging out with 30-40 of your closest friends in a shack straight out of Evil Dead and a scenery that'd make most Ring-movies flinch is really one of the best things in the world - especially at the point when every single Man in the room ( not to be associated with 'gender') decides to go out into the woods and hunt for bears so we could wrestle. At four in the morning.

I don't really think any of you want to know what they found out there, but I think Vox is too family friendly for those kinds of "Imagine This"- monologues.

But I'm still alive, in one piece and somewhat more motivated to study and not hang out with my friends for a few days ( Like I said, '... who needs enemies?').

But it did feel a bit weird to 'miss' Valentine's Day. And I promise I'll not fail too many courses ( as long as my mind decides to un-high strung itself)!

To be completely honest, this isn't really what I originally thought an academic life would be. I thought I'd be able to concentrate more or less fully on learning new things, making new contacts and make use of everything this would be able to offer. Sure, I was mature enough to admit that nothing ever goes according to plans or assumptions, but just like Life usually does, I never really thought I'd end up in a situation like this.

That is to say, I've made friends.

Don't get me wrong, I'm no shotgun wedding yokel whose best friend was the bluest plank on the family hovel's wall. But I've never had this many friends who I've been able to drop so many masks in front of - hell, allowing myself to be me.

I've never had this many friends who've been able to completely feel at peace with both themselves and each other - I've just never had friends as spontaneously close as my fellow freshmen.

Maybe it's that most of us have finally grown up, more or less, and we're able to accept both each others flaws as well as admit that we're far from perfect; maybe we still consider ourselves young enough to still be foolish, naive and open about ourselves; maybe it's just that, by now, all of us have a few skeletons in our closets, but far from too many to not be able to talk about it.

Who knows?

But the emotional bonds between all of us is something I've just had a very hard time accepting ( being the somewhat reserved fellow that I tend to try to be), but it just feels good to have people who are both willing to talk about their own as well as listen to others' past, laugh and cry about it together and just.. well, be OK with it all.

None of us have even known each other for more than six months ( if even that), and yet I know many of them better than I know some of my friends since childhood.

And yet the little reserved part of me keeps wishing I didn't have to know everybody's dark secrets; not because they'd ruin everything, but I don't want to be in a position later on when I'd have to use any of it against them - I just don't have the heart to watch friendships like this get ruined.

A tiny part of me just keeps fearing the moment when all of us wake up from the euphoria, realize we have no need to try and flee the feeling of loneliness together any longer, realize that we know each other through and through and, ultimately, find each others' company intruding, dull, even appalling.

I couldn't take that. Never have I been so genuinely, fearlessly, childishly happy than this past autumn. We may be one big, dysfunctional family, but hell, I've never helt so at home than with these strangers.

Are all of us just trying to leave the past behind, and find comfort in knowing how everyone else feels? Is this all just childish rambling, begging for someone to tell us that, once we've settled in permanently, this'll all fade away?

I don't know, but I want to thank my friends, my strangers, for making me feel this good. From the bottom of my heart, I thank thee.

You made me find myself.