Joni’s Neighborhood

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Jenni
3 days ago
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We just saw Avatar

In 3D. It was visually very, very impressive. It's been described as "Dances With Wolves in space" which is pretty accurate. It's also a bit of war-criticism, a bit of every Disney movie ever made, and a bit of Oh, Come On With The Foreseeable Plot!. Still, a very good movie. Absolutely worth the money, and this is coming from someone who really hasn't understood why James Cameron has been allowed to make movies before. The special effects were stunning, the imagination someone has had with that movie was equally stunning, the plot was ok, but let's face it. At 9 months pregnant tomorrow, there was this one certain point in this over 2-hour movie after which all I could think about was how damn long it was going to take me to get to go to the bathroom again. Stop head-butting my bladder kid.

Okay, so I thought the movie was good, but every single man I know thinks it is the most awesome thing since internet and free porn. I've been wondering a bit about it, but then Sami let something slip when I asked him what he liked about Avatar that gave it all away: I loved it! It felt like Braveheart from time to time!

Braveheart? The movie that makes all men on Earth cry? (I've never seen it, probably never will because I don't need to see crap that makes grown men sob) Are you kidding me? Were you crying? Was someone crying? There was actual male crying involved in this movie night and I missed it?! I could've had footage of grown men reaching for their handkerchiefs and I fucking missed it?

Only after that revelation did it occur to me that after all this time, all these years that I've spent avoiding Braveheart, I just spent over 2 hours watching Braveheart in space? Crap. I've been used.

A couple of hints for Santa's helper(s)

It's only three nights until Christmas (yes, here in Finland we celebrate it already on Christmas Eve), but if some of Santa's helpers doesn't have a clue on what to give me for Christmas, here is my wish list number two :)

Christmas Wish List 2

A Bamix Wand mixer
Tefal's Raclette "grill", model Ovation
Candle "extinguisher" (don't know what the real English word for that is, i.e. the picture in the right upper corner)
Tefal's Fondue pot, model Ovation
Iittala glasses; Tapio and Verna (light blue)
A flat screen TV with cable and antenna reception and preferably Full HD (size 26" or 32")

Rocket Ride

Jenni
5 days ago
4 comments

Some time ago I was told how rockets get into space. They are launched straight up, but because of the Earth's gravitational pull they can't continue straight up or they'd never get there. So they tilt and shoot out of reach in an arch, and it supposedly works because the Earth is curved. They slip out before they hit the ground. I'm not an engineer so I don't know if it's complete and utter bullshit or not, but I think it is, hands down, the best thing I've heard in a long time. Means Douglas Adams was right in the Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy: all it takes to fly is fall down and miss the earth.

It's a wildly entertaining thought that some of the most complicated things in the world work because of pure ridiculousness. I think I might have to start reading up on things that go up.

36th Week.

Jenni
Dec 16, 2009
4 comments

The 36th week starts today, so we're 5 weeks away (yup, the system they use to count this is confusing. 35 weeks 0 days - 35 weeks 6 days is the 36th week.) from my due date. I'm scared shitless.

Apart from a bit of heartburn I feel okay. I have probably one (1) rib left due to all the kicking, but physically I'm so okay that I sometimes forget I'm pregnant. Then I wake up, move around in a body that is not mine, dressed in clothes I wouldn't even think of wearing under any other circumstances. The "Holy shit, we're going to have a baby!" hits me.

Even though I usually feel like this kid is never ever going to be born and I am going to be the first woman with whom the doctors will eventually lift up their hands and give up, the reality is that the kid is arriving. Soon.

Part of me is relieved that this enormousness will end, part of me is scared about giving birth, and the rest of me quickly remembers that this being over sort of means there's going to be a new person around. Chillin', crying, shitting his/her pants and completely relying on me for food and us for safety and health.

This is about the point where I want to run away. Just jump in my car, drive as far as I can possibly get, step out, chain smoke and drink myself senseless. Get a tattoo, shave my head, skydive, dance and sing.

There's absolutely not a shadow of doubt in my mind that Sami will be an excellent dad, but hoo boy this kid sure hasn't had much luck in the mom-department! Sure, pregnancies last an eternity a long time so you can adjust to the new role of being a parent, but I still don't feel like I'm there yet. There's not much time left and I'm not even close to being there yet.

Parenting really should come with a guide book. And vodka.

Freezer

Just wanted to let you guys know that it's cold like in a freezer outside. Has been for a couple of days now and there doesn't seem to be an end to it. But I'm not complaining, as I do have warm clothes that I can wear to stay warm. It's only the fact that there is hardly any snow here. The snow would make the weather feel a bit warmer and it would be so dark all the time.

The meterologists are though forecasting that it will snow on sunday, which would mean that we'll have a white christmas. I'm so hoping that it will happen!

Dean Martin - Let it Snow!

Picasso

Jenni
Dec 14, 2009
2 comments

Yesterday we went to see the picasso-exhibition at Ateneum (The Finnish National Gallery).

The exhibition is on loan from the National Picasso Museum in Paris, while they are renovating the building.

I know my Picasso-basics just as well as the next person, but I have to admit I don't know that much about the person behind the paintings. For instance, I had NO idea Picasso was so incredibly productive! It's estimated that he finished some 50 000 works of art during his lifetime. As an example I can (now, after I've read the museum flyers) give the year his son Claude was born. In just a few months during that year, Picasso made a few thousand statues. I can't imagine myself making a few thousand anything during a few months!

Apart from the normal thoughts art like that brings up, like what kind of mind does a cubist/surrealist have, I found it absolutely fascinating how he could fluctuate between different styles. Through decades of life, he painted using at least 4 different styles changing from one to another with a day in between, making etchings, stills portraits and statues. Even if I'm pretty sure I'm not high-culture enough to understand half of the meaning of all the artwork, it was impossible not to be impressed by it.

My absolute favorite stuff was everything with skulls. I can already hear you giggling, but hear me out. For some reason every piece that portrayed a skull of some sort, was never totally surreal or too chopped up in cubes to be detected. All the paintings and statues of skulls were made to look very innocent and sympathetic, almost like a kid would've drawn it. I would hang those on my wall any day.

My least favorite stuff: the stairs. Frickin museum is full of damn neverending stairs. You turn the corner and oh look! More stairs! And yay, they're the slippery marble kind which is oh so convenient in the winter with a big-ass stomach like min. Whoever designed this building had no love for pregnant women and I would like to punch talk to the person in charge of these fucking stairs!

35th Week

Jenni
Dec 11, 2009
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35th Week

My maternity leave starts today, and I'm a bit confused about the whole thought of not working for several months, and that's why I don't have much to say.

Except get out get out get out get out!

Countdown

Jenni
Dec 9, 2009
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I'm 2 days away from maternity leave and oh sweet lord the amount of things I will finally have time to do! First on the list is going to the salon to have something done about this thing on my head. My hair looks like it has been attacked by a vicious rodent.

All the stuff I'm going to do is really going to take a big-ass chunk of all that time I'm soon going to have on my hands (precious, sweet, delicious time), seeing as I'm about as mobile as a snail in glue. And have I mentioned even once about the exhaustion? 3 colleagues of mine have been to work sick, and now they're all extremely amazed because I seem to have caught the flu from some mystical source. Which is nice because breathing was so easy when there was just this 2,5 kg kid kicking and pushing at my lungs. I've always loved a bit of a challenge.

This sort of means that things like standing upright have become a bit of a battle, and I've handled it like a man: I complained loudly about the absence of proper chairs in the shower for all the pregnant people in this household. Hellooo! Awkward and huge women over here! So my ever so thoughtfu husband pushed in a gymball for me to sit on. In the shower. Yes, this is the point we have arrived at. Hi Mom.

But gymballs in the shower are awesome! Very comfortable to sit on, not to mention they're like these huge toys! So it was all working out very smoothly for me for a while. Until I sort of discovered that soapy gymballs in a soapy room (what? I like bubbles.) are sort of hazardous. I'll cut a long story short and just say that I was very lucky that my husband was at home to lift me up off the floor.

And I'm no longer allowed to shower without adult supervision.

Babysitting A Small Puppy.

Jenni
Dec 8, 2009
5 comments

Hey, Honey? How would you feel about babysitting a puppy of a colleague of mine? For that trip we're taking in a few weeks?

A puppy?! Sure! As long as it doesn't pee in the house.

I think it won't. It should be trained.

How old is the pup? And what kind of puppy are we talking?

Kofi is about 2, I think.

2?! That's hardly a puppy, babe. How big is Kofi?

Oh... you know. About 45 kg. I think he is a Bullmastiff.

I think we have to have a discussion about terms like "small" and "puppy" sometime soon.

Getting Into The Holiday Spirit.

Jenni
Dec 6, 2009
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This sucks.

What?

Christmas parties. I wanna go to christmas parties and party and dance my butt off!

I don't see the problem? You just did one, and you can dance all you want to. You should be happy you get to avoid all the alcohol and awkwardness and hangovers!

I need to clarify.

Please do Honey.

I wanna go to christmas parties and not avoid all the alcohol and awkwardness and hangovers.

Well then you're right. It kinda sucks.

Yup.